Despair Give Way to Happiness
by RandomWriter2011
Summary: Harry's depressed after the war. He's given up magic and lives in the muggle world. He is constantly plagued by the memories and nightmares of the war. He feels lonely, empty, and emotionless at times. Draco visits one night. One-shot. Yeah...it'll probably suck, oh well. Had it in my head and it wouldn't leave, so here ya go.


**A/N: Okay, this is my first HP fic so it might suck royally. It's going to be set after the war. Since I have to get myself re-familiarized with the names of the spells and what they do, I probably won't use many until I can get them stored in my memory and locked there. Also, until I get used to writing for HP I will be posting only one-shots. So, with all that said, thoughts are in Italics, dreams are in bold italic, memories will be in Italic as well but will have ~~ placed at the beginning and end of the memory. I own nothing except the plot line. All characters belong to J.K., the cities mentioned belong to the founders, and any books/movies mentioned belong to their authors/directors. I own NOTHING except the plot!**

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It had been several years since the war, he still dreamed about it, he could see the blood, hear the screams, and see his friends pay the ultimate sacrifice…it pained him every second of his waking life and tormented him every night. It had gotten so bad that he had ultimately lost all hopes of ever being happy again.

Now, as he stood in front of his window watching the rain pound heavily on the glass, he felt nothing but the emptiness. He felt alone, empty. The silence that filled his house was deafening. The memories stained the walls like the blood that had once stained the stones of Hogwarts. This was the house…the house where he slept as an infant…the house where he was found…the house he was taken from when he had lost everything…the house where his parents had been so savagely killed.

He felt another pain in his chest. The room he was standing in now had previously been the very room his mother had died in…it was his former nursery, now converted into a study. Huge oak bookshelves lined one wall, dark curtains covered the windows. His desk was right in front of the windows and turned so that while he was sitting there, his back was facing the rest of the world. A grandfather clock stood by the door, a couch was on the other side of the door with a tall floor lamp standing beside it, the shade was a very dark blue. The floor was a polished wood and there was a small rug under his desk. He had a few filing cabinets along the wall opposite the book shelves and there was a stereo system beside the filing cabinets.

He thought back to the day he had graduated from Hogwarts, his diploma in a black frame hanging beside the grandfather clock. For so many that day had been a wonderful day. Hermione's parents had somehow regained their memories and were so proud of their daughter and had hugged her tight. Ron's mother nearly squeezed the life out of them and the rest of their friends while his father had patted them on the back and shook their hands. Everyone had been smiling and laughing…everyone except one dark haired Gryffindor. He couldn't understand why everyone had been so happy to leave. How could they have just pretended like nothing had ever happened? Even George had been smiling and laughing, even though his twin Fred had died in the war. How could he have the strength to move on?

He had to admit to himself that he had been surprised on the day of graduation. When he was called and went up to receive his diploma, he had looked out over the audience of attending parents and siblings, he almost froze as he saw his cousin, Dudley. After the caps were thrown and hugs had been given, he walked out of the room and headed down the hall towards the Gryffindor Tower, but had been stopped when his cousin had called out to him.

_"Harry, I know I've been a real arse to you in the past but now, I want you to live with me. I've left mom and dad and have my own place. You're welcome to stay with me until you can find yourself a place."_

Harry had, indeed, been surprised by the offer. Seeing as he didn't have any other place to go that would grant him peace he had kindly accepted his cousin's offer. He could have gone with the Weasley's but they'd be laughing and carrying on all the time. Hermione's parents would be trying to talk about what had happened since Hermione had erased their memories and he didn't feel like telling them. He didn't want to go back to his aunt's and uncle's and be a slave boy again. So, he accepted Dudley's offer.

Once he was packed he left. Dudley had a nice house, two stories, white picket fence, brick mailbox, and good sized yard. It was a good distance away from any neighbors and the inside was done up in hardwood floors, white pristine walls, glass and crystal sculptures, chandeliers. He was glad when Dudley had simply shown him to his temporary room, told him dinner would be done by 7, and left. He was glad to have space to be able to think and reflect on his memories.

That had been after he left Hogwarts and he had stayed with his cousin for exactly 1 year, 5 months, 15 days, 4 hours, and 25 minutes. During that time he had found the house his parents had died in and began to renovate it. He had given magic up all-together because it reminded him of things that he'd rather forget. He didn't want to remember the deaths; he didn't want to hear the screams. Every spell he did felt vile and disgusting now. People viewed him as a hero, but no hero sacrifices their friends in order to kill a monster. He felt he had disgraced his parents, dirtied up the family name, and worst of all, he had testified on the Malfoys' behalf to keep Draco and his family from going to Azkaban. He was sure they'd ask him to dinner to show their respect and gratitude…in fact they had a week after the trials, but he had simply and politely refused saying that none were needed.

The letters from them had stopped coming when he didn't write back, he had burned them in his parlor fireplace. He sighed softly and turned from the window, his legs were stiff from standing there for so long. He walked down to the kitchen and began making himself some dinner. He was stirring the vegetable soup when his phone rang. He turned the heat down so it wouldn't burn and walked over.

"Hello?" he asked, glancing at the clock he saw it was almost 10 and wondered who would be calling so late.

"Hey Harry" came the familiar voice of his cousin. However, Harry had noticed he sounded upset, maybe worried.

"Hi Dudley, what's wrong?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask…" his cousin said with a sigh. There was a pause before he continued, "mums sick, dads staying drunk, and this blond turned up asking where you were. He sounded very determined to find you. I didn't give him your address though."

Harry nodded although his cousin couldn't see and sighed.

"Good. Did he say why he wanted to see me?"

"He said he had business to discuss, personal business. He was rather attractive." Dudley said with a dreamy voice and Harry let out a dry chuckle, he'd known for a while his cousin preferred guys.

"Dudley, he's not your type."

"I know, but he's trying to find you…must be important."

"Yea…thanks for the info and keep me updated. I have to go before my stew burns."

"Okay, I'll see ya then."

They hung up and Harry went back to his stew, wondering why the hell Malfoy was trying to find him after all these years.

He ate in silence, letting his thoughts wander. He cleaned up, put the dishes away, locked up, and went to bed. He prayed he'd sleep peacefully but that was not to be the case.

**_"HARRY!" Hermione screamed out as a spell hit her arm, causing her to be cut deeply. _**

**_Harry turned to see her trying to escape the Death Eaters that surrounded her, all of them aiming their wands at his best friend. He began to panic and run for her but it felt as if he was underwater, it felt as if something was holding him back, making him go in slow motion. He watched as Ron ran to her side easily and how they fought together._**

**_Harry stopped and looked around him; the chaos of the war was enveloping him. Everywhere he looked someone was being attacked, tortured by the Cruciatus curse, killed by the killing curse, or killed with weapons. He watched as Fred was killed by an explosion. He saw his friends and classmates and wondered why they didn't just run away and leave him to face Voldemort. Then it happened. _**

**_He watched helplessly as the Death Eaters killed each and every one of those who had fought with Harry and now, he stood alone, surrounded by their lifeless bodies and saw their blood cover the stones of the castle. He felt the tears fall down his blood and dirt covered face, he heard himself screaming but couldn't feel the pain. He turned to face Voldemort and soon the pair was engulfed in their own war as the Death Eaters watched. _**

**_Suddenly his wand was knocked out of his hand by Draco Malfoy, who wanted so desperately to impress his father and the dark lord. _**

**_"And now, Mr. Potter, you will join your friends, your parents, and the Wizarding World will be mine." _**

**_With that, Voldemort raised his wand and said the two words that would end it all. "Avada Kedavra"_**

Harry bolted upright in his bed, his shirt was soaked with sweat and his hair clung to his forehead and neck. He was breathing hard and shaking even harder. He could feel the pain from the curses, feel the sensation as each cut was made into his body, feel the fear of being the last one alive and worst of all…he could see the dead bodies piling up around his room and smell the blood. He knew it was an illusion, that not everyone had died, but it had been so real…

It was then that he noticed there was a desperate banging on his door and he got up. He quickly pulled his black cotton robe on and walked down the stairs. He unlocked the door and opened it to reveal a dripping wet blond standing on his front porch. Harry noticed how hard it was raining and motioned for the man to enter his home. Once the door was closed Harry went to start the fire place and then handed the other a towel.

"I heard you were looking for me. Didn't think you'd actually find me." Harry said, his voice was like ice and uncaring.

"I needed to see you. To properly thank you." Harry looked over to see the steel grey eyes looking back at him from under the towel.

"Thank me? For what?"

"For saving my family Potter, that's what. You never answered any letters and turned down my family's invitation."

"How'd you find me?"

"It took a while…but eventually I figured you'd be in the only place that held any sort of memory…I managed to get the information from your uncle…once I got him drunk enough."

Harry sighed. He ended up just listening to Malfoy as he talked about his family, how they wanted to thank him; how they thought he was a hero. The Malfoys' never praised anyone like this so either they were very thankful or this was a trap of some kind. Malfoy didn't seem to notice that Potter wasn't paying attention; he just kept his eyes on the fire and kept talking.

Harry must've blacked out at some point because when he came to the blond former Slytherin was lying against him, they were in his bed, and the blanket was pulled up over them. He felt his former rival stir and saw him sit up.

They didn't say anything as their eyes connected, but in that moment, Harry finally saw a future. He didn't know why but Draco was here, he knew the reason he gave wasn't the real reason but he didn't push it. After a few moments of intense staring Draco spoke.

"I must confess…I didn't come here to drone on and on about my family like that…I wanted to make amends for the wrongful things I did in our younger years."

Harry was about to ask what the blond meant when he suddenly found his lips being touched by the blonds in a gentle but firm kiss. In that moment all the depression, sadness, self-hatred and emptiness left him, he no longer felt like he had. In that moment all he could feel was need. The need to be with the blond, the need to be filled by him, touched by him, tasted by him. He wanted nothing more than to simply melt in this feeling.

They spent the night exploring each other's bodies, tempting the other into saying some dirty little words that neither would think about the next morning. They entered each other, took each other's first times, filled each other up, and, finally, collapsed into each other's embrace. As they drifted off into sleep there was only one thought on the former Gryffindor's mind. With Draco by his side, he would soon begin to feel whole and happy again.


End file.
